Happy Valentine's!

Champagne and Salsa...that's EXACTLY how I like to celebrate V-Day.

(Oh, and it's May)

Virgins Only!

Where's the "Slut Lemonade?" ...it's better and more experienced.

Sleep Sack

See, I WAS going to make fun of this using my normal dirty-minded pleasantries, but I started thinking about it and I think this is actually a good idea!

No longer do we have to suffer bed bugs, bodily fluids or used needles in our hotel beds!

...or are those just the hotels I stay in?

Help Me!

This was in the trunk of my husband's car and I had to ask...how many times have you locked yourself in there???

Women's Hat

Yeah I can tell by all of the delicate, girly touches.

Nose Horn

She's shooting water up one nostril and its pouring out of the other? Is it some sort of nose-water filtration system?

Also, I don't know about you but a nose flush AND enema all in one seems a little much.

Oh, and is that Reese Witherspoon???

Problem Solved!

Are you a mother who constantly tells her children to "Pick up your feet!" but they just won't listen? Are you plagued with pesky dirt? Well, we have the solution with our new Dust Mop Slippers!!!*

* May cause children to complain, dirty mop slippers on your carpet and/or various other clean household items, and kitchen slips and falls.

Happy Mother's Day!

If your mom and grandma are as religious as mine, you KNOW they'd actually buy this stuff.



Just in case you weren't getting enough holy in your life, here we have...Religious Bread!

For the bible thumper in all of us.

I love you mom! :)

Don't Forget The 4th Step!

The steps to Healthy Living:

Eat Well, Hydrate, Exercise...and wine, lots and lots of wine.

Curved Yellow Fruit

Can't get much clearer than that!

Is it just me?

...or do you think they've been bothered a time or two?

Also, since they've been so perturbed by solicitors, I'll ignore their half-assed attempts at punctuation.

Only in Los Angeles...

...would we have Fall/Holiday Beach Sandals.

Also Known As

Salty Broth with Chives, Kelp and Tofu floating in it (AKA Miso Soup)!

Bear Naked

For some reason this makes me think of that scene in "A Night at the Roxbury" when Chris Kattan's mother in the movie tells him "Honey if your going to hit your peak, do it in your room."

...anyone else? Maybe it's just my mind which is so constantly in the gutter.